Friday, September 26, 2008 - Posts
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Whoever wins the election, one thing is for sure: The next president of the United States will be extremely boring.
At least, that’s the impression voters just tuning in will get based on tonight’s debate.
The evening was heavy on substance, from the Wall Street bailout to Iraq to Russia and Georgia. Which is good, in theory. But there wasn’t a single memorable line. McCain did a better job of boiling his message down to short sentences—“That isn’t just naive, it’s dangerous,” he said of Obama’s desire to hold talks with unfriendly nations. At another point, McCain held up a pen and promised to veto every spending bill that crossed his desk. But none of his lines zinged like his now-famous “tied up at the time” moment during the primaries. Obama, meanwhile, sounded discursive and academic even about visceral issues like war with Iran: “What Senator McCain refers to is a measure in the Senate that would try to broaden the mandate inside Iraq” to justify action against Iran, he said. Obama did have a strong moment where he repeated the phrase, “You were wrong,” referring to McCain’s opinions on WMD and being welcomed as liberators in Iraq. But for the most part, it was like a race to the bottom of my memory.
Jim Lehrer tried valiantly to get the candidates to address each other. Eventually, Obama managed to turn to McCain and address him in the second person, but only after some prodding. “Say it directly to him,” Lehrer instructed Obama at one point. McCain never mustered the will.
The last few weeks are partly to blame. People have become so used to potshots and posturing—“100 years,” “lipstick,” sex education for kindergartners—that sober discussion of earmarks comes off as, well, dull. It was also the subject matter. Lehrer deliberately avoided pulling a Gibson/Stephanopoulos and instead stuck to policy. Sure, it occasionally got personal. McCain said Obama doesn’t know the difference between tactics and strategy; Obama accused McCain of trying to "pretend like the war started in 2007." But compared with recent weeks, it was all pretty tame.
That said, boredom is probably a good thing. The media fixate on debate details that reflect poorly on the candidates. (George W. Bush garbling a sentence, George H.W. Bush checking his watch, Al Gore sighing a lot.) So, the lack of “moments” means the candidates were able to stick to their message, not screw up any lines, and generally stay relaxed. Plus, there are greater sins than wonkiness in a debate. Tonight’s topics demanded some drilling down. McCain’s discussion of Georgian sovereignty, Obama’s distinction between “preconditions” and “preparation,” the sacrifices the economic bailout will force both candidates to make—all of this matters. I’m just glad they provide a transcript.
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I don’t know what it says about this election that it has spawned so many debate drinking games, but it seems worth a roundup. Here are some of the best rules and instructions you’ll find for tonight’s Mississippi fisticuffs:
“One drink:
- If both candidates show up”
--Rhog
“TAKE A SIP WHENEVER:
John McCain refers to himself as a 'maverick.'
Barack Obama rolls his eyes when John McCain refers to himself as a 'maverick.' "
--Radar
“When McCain makes his first reference to being a prisoner of war:
Everybody get in a box and take a Vicodin.
At McCain’s second reference to being a POW:
Two shots, punch the person next to you in the biceps, demand a confession.
Third POW reference:
Five and a half shots.
--Wonkette
“The entire time McCain speaks, players will be able to ‘invade’ other players by putting their finger in another person’s cup without them noticing. If they are able to do so, the invaded person must drink from their cup as well as their conqueror’s cup until McCain is done speaking.”
--In Our Ear … Out the Other
“Every time Obama pauses before the predicate of a sentence, go watch Star Trek: The Original Series to see how a pro does it.”
--Indecision 2008
“DO NOT take a drink every time McCain attempts to appropriate parts of Obama’s campaign message.
DO NOT take a drink every time McCain chuckles and smiles.
And ABSOLUTELY DO NOT take a drink every time McCain mentions 9/11."
--Daily Kos
“McCain claims the 'fundamentals of our economy are strong'–finish your drink and write a bad check to your landlord.
The cameras pan out to Cindy McCain–swallow all the pills you can find and finish your drink.
Either candidate refers to previous drug use–spark a joint and pass.
McCain uses self-deprecating humor to comment on his age–mix whiskey with Metamucil and sip while asking the person next to you when you’re going to have grandchildren.
McCain says 'my friends' more than three times–open the front door and scream, 'I am not your goddamn friend, McCain,' pound your beer and throw the empty in the street.”
--Fat Kid Special
“- Do a Jägerbomb every time 'the surge' is mentioned
- Shot of vodka every time Russia or Georgia are mentioned
- Shot of bourbon every time ethanol is mentioned
- Shot of tequila every time immigration or Mexico are mentioned
- Shot of rum every time hurricanes are mentioned
- Shot of scotch if the disembodied ghost of Ulysses S. Grant makes an appearance
- Shot of your own wretched tears when the debate ends and you realize that one of these two clowns is going to be the next president."
--Rhog
“Regardless of what either candidate says, at the end of the debate, drink something that must be lit on fire first, then hit yourself in the face with a shovel.”
--Josh Nelson, Huffington Post
And, of course, drink every time Jim Lehrer's pupils dilate to the size of quarters.
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The first question of tonight’s debate should be for John McCain, and it should be this: What were you thinking?
Let’s review: It was precisely 2 p.m. on Wednesday when McCain issued a statement saying he was suspending his campaign, and asking to delay tonight’s debate, so he could “return to Washington” to work with both parties on the Wall Street bailout plan. He was clear about the goal: “We must meet until this crisis is resolved,” he said. Then, at 11:30 a.m. today, he declared the suspension lifted. Crisis resolved? Not exactly. But McCain said he was “optimistic that there has been significant progress toward a bipartisan agreement.” He will be in Mississippi tonight to debate Barack Obama.
From crisis to optimism in less than 48 hours: That’s leadership! Or maybe not. There’s a better word to describe McCain’s behavior between his two announcements.
First, it should be noted that he didn’t really suspend his campaign. His campaign asked TV networks to stop running ads, but some still aired. Sarah Palin still attended public events. Surrogates and campaign aides continued to boost McCain and ding Obama. And McCain himself still held an interview with Katie Couric (though he canceled on David Letterman, much to Dave’s chagrin). Then there’s the length of time it took him to get to the White House after his announcement—more than 24 hours. Then there’s what he did when he got there—upset a bipartisan agreement that appeared to be moving along well, remain mostly silent during the key meeting with Obama and President Bush, blame Democrats for the mess-up, and accuse Obama of “posturing.” His final act was to skip off to Mississippi for the debate.
Editorial boards and most other observers declared the decision a mess, especially after the Thursday meeting in which bipartisan negotiations collapsed. Even Mike Huckabee, a McCain booster, called McCain’s gambit a “huge mistake.” (That said, Newt Gingrich approved, calling McCain’s decision “the greatest single act of responsibility ever taken by a presidential candidate.”)
But despite all the talk about his campaign suspension, McCain’s bigger mistake may have been lifting it and agreeing to debate Obama. Initially, McCain promised to boycott the debate barring “consensus on legislation” to address the bailout. Needless to say, that hasn’t happened. What has happened is that a general agreement on the broad strokes of the bailout package has fallen apart; House Republicans who had earlier seemed amenable to the bailout have revolted, possibly to make it look as if McCain swooped in and saved the day; and talks have “imploded” thanks largely to the arrival of both presidential candidates on Capitol Hill.
McCain’s assessment of all this in a statement this morning? “Significant progress.”
Take it away, Jim Lehrer.
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