The XX Factor: What women really think.

Blagojevich, Fabio, Levi, Oh My!

So Blagojevich and Fabio walk into a karaoke bar. No, really. Video, and another favorite butt of the joke, Levi Johnston, enjoying his position as such, after the jump ... (Read more in Double X.)

What Did Rahm Say, Exactly?

Jesse: Happy To Help, Wink, Wink?

Actually, E.J., I read Gail Collins this morning and thought, well, I needn't have been such an old sourpuss. Nothing wrong with copping a laugh, especially when the general sitch is so not funny. And Emily, your case against dynasties, political and otherwise, is exactly (and ironically, maybe, on this one occasion) why I'm all for affirmative action: Because without it, even now, the merit  in meritocracy all too often means "worthy enough, after Daddy got me into Yale and Uncle Potsy used his piston at the bank." As most Americans share your view, why do the sons and daughters of privilege and power continue to enjoy such an electoral advantage? Because name ID equals campaign cash, of course. Which is why, if Jon Stewart ever asked me that question he puts to a lot of the official types who go on his show about what they'd do if they had one crack at a magic wand, I would say: Money out of politics, many problems solved. (Yes, I have heard of the First Amendment, but refuse to believe there's no way to get a lot closer to a level playing field than we are right now.)

As for the presumption of Jesse Jr.'s innocence, of course you are right, and it's perfectly possible that he neither offered Blagojevich anything in return for the Senate appointment nor deputized anyone else to do so. Or, maybe he did make some vague noise along the lines of, "Sure, I'd be happy to support you in any future race,'' when what the thought bubble really contained was, "Haha, what future race? The only contributions you're going to need are to your defense fund, or for cigarette money when you're in the cell next to Ryan in Terre Haute." What I have a harder time believing is that Blago could go a full 90 minutes—the length of time he apparently spent meeting with Jackson on Monday—without talking moolah. Or that Jackson had no idea that Springfield's Monty Hall was looking for a quid pro quo; since Gov. Potty Mouth seems to have been raising his favorite subject with everyone he sat by on the El, that would make Junior sort of uniquely out of the Loop, wouldn't it?

Apologies. Of Course Blago Isn't Funny. Not Even a Tiny Bit.

Melinda, Emily, Jack, of course you are all right. Of course Blago’s misbehavior is quite horrifying, and at the same time, not yet proven to be illegal. It's appalling to think that Blago may have perverted the Illinois Senate race and may have implicated Jesse Jr. If this were happening in my state, I would be utterly glum. I am duly chastened. Please accept my apologies at having been so unseemly gleeful about Blago’s comic-novel over-the-top misbehavior. I may be more affected than I realized from the cabin fever that comes with having been alone at home sick for a week (and out of both orange juice and ginger ale!). Or maybe my reaction to the Blago news was just relief—after a week of listening to public radio while drifting in and out of sleep—at getting to hear about something other than world financial apocalypse, something that seems easily punished?

Unlike me, Gail Collins today hit exactly the right note of bemused (and, yes, dismayed) schadenfreude, so let me defer to her. No more laughing from me. And to rehabilitate myself, I promise to post next on something about which I can be serious.

So Tell Me, Jesse, How You See Your Role in Turning around the Problems Facing This Great Land

Thank God for Blagojevich! You Can't Make This S**t Up

TELL me that the Illinois governor's idiocy isn't entertaining. Melinda, please don't take this personally. How absolutely dumb and jaw-droppingly venal can you be? Openly selling a Senate seat? Shaking down the Chicago Tribune's editorial board: Did he really think the newspaper wouldn't expose him? You couldn't put this in a comic novel: It's too ridiculous for fiction.

Maybe I'm finding it hilarious because I just spent a week in bed with bronchitis, and I really needed to laugh out loud (albeit wheezing a bit). Maybe it's because I assume that politicians are often doing nasty things behind our backs, and I love to see them get their comeuppance. Or maybe it's because my very first political memory is of coming home eagerly every day from junior high school to watch the Watergate hearings. How much fun was that?! The evil henchmen Haldeman and Ehrlichman! The upright whistleblower John Dean! The irrepressible Martha Mitchell! The haplessly loyal Rosemary Woods! Oh golly, that was so much better than watching game shows or my mother's soap operas. And in Watergate the bad guys actually paid for their wrongdoing—unlike, say, the Reagan administration for its constitutional violations in Iran-Contra, or W.'s administration for eliminating habeas corpus, violating the Geneva Conventions, and lying to take us to war?

Come to think of it, maybe that's why I'm lapping this one up so happily: It sure looks like Blago will quickly go down, and other evildoers with him. And because it's so nice to have a good old-fashioned influence-peddling scandal to follow for awhile, something purely about self-interest and money—instead of a pointless sex scandal, where we have to debate Whether and Why We Care What He Does With His Zipper. (Boring!) The Blago cast of characters looks like it will be lovely as it unrolls in the weeks to come. The Upright Patrick Fitzgerald! The (so-far) Honorable President-elect Barack Obama, whose push for an ethics bill may have set the ball rolling! The Lady Macbeth, played by Patti Blagojevich! Who else will we meet in the weeks to come?

Dumbest Governor Ever?

Just finished reading the Blagojevich complaint, which I shouldn't have looked at so late at night, because it only woke me up and raised all kinds of perplexing questions. Like, did the man never see a single episode of The Sopranos? There he is, on his very own phone, endlessly babbling "me want payola'' (OK, that is a paraphrase). He even talks about news reports that the Federal investigators who've been after him for years are tapping his phones!

Love his wife's cameo, in which the first lady of Illinois is screaming so loudly while he's on the phone that the wiretap picks her up, too, raging that he should withhold state assistance for the Tribune Co.'s sale of Wrigley Field unless the Chicago Tribune fires its editorial writers for being so mean and critical of their fine governor. How was it Mrs. B so charmingly put it? Oh, yes, here it is: "Hold up that fucking Cubs shit ... fuck them."  But this is exciting: Singled out for the ire of the Blagos was ... my son's lovely godfather, editorial writer John McCormick. According to the criminal complaint, "ROD BLAGOJEVICH asked HARRIS [his chief of staff] whether he told Deputy Governor A that 'McCormick is going to get bounced at the Tribune.' (McCormick is believed to be John P. McCormick, the Chicago Tribune's Deputy Editorial Page Editor) ... HARRIS stated, 'I had singled out McCormick as somebody who was the most biased and unfair.' "  Later, the guv is mad when despite his machinations, John survives the latest round of cuts. (Dude, we knew you had role model potential!)

More than anything, though, Blagojevich just seems delusional, ranting that maybe that f'ing Obama can get Warren Buffet and Bill Gates to fund an "issue advocacy organization''—that advocates for his enrichment and deals solely with the heartbreaking issue of a certain corrupt governor who wants $$$. And here's clear thinking: He imagines that if all else fails, he can appoint himself to fill Obama's Senate seat and voilà, legal problems solved. At least when his predecessor George Ryan knew his days were numbered, he did one decent thing he'll be remembered for: He emptied the state's Death Row. Next to this guy, Ryan was a hero.

Selling a Senate Seat