Slate's Bizbox




the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Tim Carvell and David Shayne

from: David Shayne

Smoking Is Very Bad for You

Posted Thursday, Jan. 20, 2000, at 10:22 AM ET

Tim--

Did you go to summer camp? I went for five years, and the one thing I could never get used to was that awful feeling I got in my stomach on the last morning. I would wake up--the final bars of "Stairway to Heaven" still running through my head from the last dance, the smell of smoke still in my hair from the last campfire--and my heart would be filled with despair, knowing that in just a few short hours the buses would arrive to transport me from the warm nurturing womb of summer camp back to the harsh, unfriendly place that is the Real World. Well, that's how I felt today, our last day of "Breakfast Table." So let's make sure we exchange numbers and stay in touch ... you know, even after the summer. And we'll see each other next year, right? Right, Tim? Sigh. Oh, and sorry about participating in "Tie Tim Down and Beat Him on the Stomach With Soap Wrapped in a Towel Night," but everyone else in the bunk went along with it.



Now on to the news.

On Monday you expressed a desire to antagonize the "Fray" and I don't know about you, but I've been somewhat disappointed in our results. Despite our attempts, almost zero outrage. So let me try with this one: Smoking is very bad for you. And, according to the New York Times, the Canadian government agrees with me, as it proposed radical new cigarette packaging rules yesterday that would force tobacco makers to create cigarette packs that carry color photographs of diseased hearts and cancerous lungs and lips.

Look, I think everyone should be warned of the dangers of smoking. I think every cigarette pack and ad should have a warning label, and a straightforward one at that. (I propose: "Smoking is very bad for you.") I'm glad they've banned cigarettes in restaurants and public spaces in New York so I don't have to breathe in Joe Butts' secondhand smoke. But I think that as long as someone is an adult (key word there; scumbags who sell cigarettes to children should be treated to a heavy dose of state-sponsored torture), then let them enjoy their pack-a-day trips to Marlboro Country. They know what they're getting into. It's not like the story about the smoking/cancer link got buried on Page C27 under an item about the Rotary Club's new lawn sprinkler.

Oh, and let me say that my feelings are not based on some sort of well-considered, long-held libertarian principle. I just came up with this about half an hour ago, because I have family in Montreal, and when I go to visit them I don't want to stop at a convenience store for a pack of gum and have to look at a display case of diseased lung photos. It's worth noting that the redesigned cigarette packs would also carry a warning: "Cigarettes may cause sexual impotence due to decreased blood flow to the penis. This can prevent you from having an erection." Yeah, and so can looking at pictures of diseased hearts and lungs.

On the other hand, if the Canadian government wants to force Coca-Cola to print time-lapse photos of a nail dissolving in a glass of their product, then go for it. Are you with me on this?

from: David Shayne

Smoking Is Very Bad for You

Posted Thursday, Jan. 20, 2000, at 10:22 AM ET
Print This ArticlePRINTDiscuss this in The FrayDISCUSSEmail to a FriendE-MAIL
Share on FacebookPost to MySpace!Share with MixxDigg ThisShare with RedditShare with del.icio.usShare with FurlShare with Ma.gnolia.comShare with SphereShare with Stumble Upon
Tim Carvell is the Los Angeles bureau chief of Fortune magazine. David Shayne is the associate editor of MAD magazine.
Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum
What did you think of this article?
POST A MESSAGE | READ MESSAGES




Washington Post
The Washington Post
OPINIONS
Biden Brings It On
Cohen | He gave us a window onto America -- and into himself.
Lane: A Little Less Doubtful NowMeyerson: Divided in Denver?
PLUS » Froomkin: Karzai to Bush: Not So Fast